And so a Question...

A question of thought...

What do you do when the World starts darkening?

To the World, To him...

Empty, yea, that's it.

Facing this screen, intense in thoughts, yet nothing, nothing seems to come out.

So much to ponder, so much to revise, yet so little it seems...

Thinking of the time slipping through his grasp,

of loved one,

of the unknown future,

of this crying world,

so complex, yet it is just a small train of thoughts that come and go,

simple, naive thoughts as compared to the harsh reality...

After all, just a tiny speckle of life from this bigger world,

what is a small life to the bigger stream of life?

An insignificant dots in a world map?

A dull human amongst the billions of human?

A drop of water among the sea of water?

To the world, probably he's just a nothing,

But to him, the world is probably holding all the things he wants and crave...

The Unsilent Silence...

Out calm, but deep depth inwards;
A one in real, but many in one;
Simple it seems, but complicated it gets;
Nothing at all, but yet something it is...

Silent as the night, silent as the dark;
But amidst this silence, rocks the inaudible tunes;
A silence like other, yet a silence like naught;
Silence it is, if the silence get silenced...

The Dark Alleyway...

Thud, thud, thud, comes the echoes arising from the footsteps;
In this dark alleyway, the young boy walks;
No light in sight, it's all pitch black;
Feeling his way ahead, with the help of the walls around him...

As with each step taken, rise the fear of the unseen;
As uneven footing, threaten to fell him down;
Up come the end, as few roads diverge;
At this juncture, confused, which road should he take?

Friendship...

How exactly do you define good friends?

A very subjective question indeed. For at the end of the day, no one definition can best describe it clearly. What is a good friend? Indeed, what makes someone as a good friend-probably the best definition will be from ourselves defining it on our own. And who are these good friends? Probably they are those who support you till the end, always a helping hand ready to lend out, sincere throughout expecting nothing in return, probably it is. Or probably not. For at the end of the day, it's how we define good friends that leads to whether someone is a good friend or not. 

In life, we probably wouldn't meet much good and sincere friends, but when they do come, keep them, cherish them well, because we might probably not find many more of them for the rest of our lives...

3.38am

3.38am-That's the time shown on my desktop. And WTH am I doing here? Nowhere near my bed of course, not even notes. It's facebook, twitter, you-tube, sports, blah blah blah... Damn! But I still don't feel like occupying my time with studies..xD 

Browse through my friend's blog and came across some cool car pics. Look at this...

Lamborghini Reventon and McLaren F1.. Wow.. Cool cars! I love them.. Well,...... One day probably.. One day la, one day.. lol..

Sigh... What a lazy night. Idling around trying to relax after a tiring day. But somehow crappy thoughts keep filling up my head, like some irritating flies buzzing around, though the thoughts themselves are not what I will call irritating. Best to think nothing, have a clear and focus mind to detect the subtle discontinuities, oops.. P3-Mintzberg 'emergent strategy' theory. Crap, too much of studying.. xD

Alright, a topic for discussion-Global warming, increasing earthquake frequencies, major volcanic eruptions, typhoons/hurricanes, blah blah blah... So they say signs of end times huh? Well, it's not like it matters as  the rumours said its 2 more years to come-well, you get what I mean. I know, it's BS, scientifically proven not true or whatever it is that the 'science' said, but the question is 'What IF it is real?'. Maybe not 2 years, but SOON. How soon I don't know, but just think IF it's real, what's your plan? Hmm.. Any contingency plans? 

Move on to philosophies, I recently saw a philosophy on money quoted in a financial magazine-here it goes..

"You can't do without money, but don't let it control you. You need to see its value in the proper place in your life. One of the biggest problems is greed and letting it control your life and your decisions. Because of greed, people go to war and break the law, even people who are rich wouldn't be able to spend all their wealth in their lifetime."

Hmmm.. Very true, human greed-not an uncommon thing nowadays. At the end of the day, money is after all just a human creation, bringing with it no value other than in the world we are in now. Important as it is, just remember that money is not everything. Do not let money control us, do not let it be a reason for conflicts. Well, since money bring so much troubles, why not just give them all to me? I'll take care of the troubles for you. Oops.. xp

And exam stress...You know when you start talking a lot to yourself and when you use a lot of those study terms, you're probably having exam stress, or just too immersed in studying. How bout pimples? Black eyes aka panda eyes, pale and tired faces, exploding heads, headache, 'chronic misbehaviours', amongst others...All right, I'm no expert here. But let's just work hard together people.. =)

OMG, it's 4.19am already! Degree of blurness-exceeding 90%. I'd better tune in. Adios, folks!

Hot, Hotter and Hotter...

NASA reports, by the next 10 MONTHS, EARTH gets hotter by 4'C from now. Himalayan glaciers are melting at a rapid rate. Lend your hands to fight global warming -Plant more trees. Don't waste water. Don't use or burn plastic and don't delete this message without forwarding. SAVE EARTH at any cost..

Saw this message in facebook and I'm like, 'Wow, 4'C hotter? Awesome. We could probably do well in a much hotter environment than it is now.' Already half-baked from the heat, making me sweat like no one's business, now it's just gonna be much worse. Great right? I'm sure you will agree with me. And when they say we should save Earth, I wonder how many people around the globe will actually resist themselves from switching on the air-conditioner for the sake of Earth, something I largely doubt. Well, this could possibly just end up making our Earth much worse than it already is after all...

A distant dream...

It was probably for the best. Yea, she has tried. I know, I know. Well, in the end, here we are, back to where we started. At the end of the day, I wonder what's the problem? Where did it go wrong? How did it end up in this way? The answer is simple-I don't know.

No one's fault perhaps. Even if there is, well, who am I to judge anyway? People ask me am I okay? Well, yeah, I am. Maybe it's the expectation that such a thing will eventually happen, probably my cautiousness save me from falling too deep. I might have wanted to scream out loud before, but no sounds came. i might have wish to cry it out before, but no tears come anymore. After all, I guess it's probably unnecessary anymore.

Questions after questions fill my head. Sometimes I wonder why did she accept me in the first place? Maybe human nature to try and see-probably it'll work out? I don't know, maybe I will do that too. Why can't it be a straightforward relationship? Well, not everyone adopts the same policy as me. Why try to go on if you feel like you're suffering? Why this? Why that?

It just makes me guilty. Indirectly so. Maybe we should have taken more time to understand each other truly before going on. This relationship-I know I have said I fear of losing her, trying to save it at one time, maybe I portray the image of someone who'll perhaps sink very deep if I lose her, but one thing's clear on my mind-fear of losing does not mean I can never let go. So I wonder, why take the extra burden then?

Ponder no more. A past it is, a very distant dream in fact. Last Saturday's outing seems like a fairytale somewhere in my dreams. I admit I will miss the days when we're together. In a way, it is a very comfortable relationship. Never once I really felt burdened for all the things I did. All I know is at the end of the day, I've given my best in this, never caring for the return. But I guess some things just aren't meant to go on.

Different ways of perceiving things & life, of lifestyle, of choices-probably those are the gap that can't be bridged. But it matters naught, cause we shall now move our separate ways. I shall stand tough, after all, this is just one of those bittersweets of life. Yesterday a distant dream, today onwards, a new dawn...

Thus, with a heavy heart, I bring down the curtain to another chapter of my life...

ROT-T-I-N-G...

Feels like I'm rotting slowly here. Working for only 3 days, and yet most of  the time I'm free. Imagine working for 5 days! Oh man, I'll dread the time for working hours to end like hell! It's gonna promote laziness within me! And feels like there's nothing much to learn from here anymore. Things feels repetitive and boring. Maybe it's time to move on. But it'll be a big change of environment. Should I try it? Hmm...

The Elusive Factors...

Why do I do this?

Why do I do that?

What do I live for?

Why am I working so hard for?

Because that's what we should do?

Because everyone's doing the same thing?

Or because it is the right thing to do?

Even if everything will eventually ends into nothingness..

So why?

What's all this for?

Well, that's a good question.

I wonder...

What all this really means...

What's the meaning of me in this world...

Why am doing this and that...

And I wonder...

What do I seek from all that I'm doing...

What's the objective?

And where can i find the motivation to strive me on...

Where indeed...

Once I heard of how a man, embarked on a failed mission to the moon before Neil Armstrong, left hovering few miles above the moon. Of how this man, who actually had the chance to see the Earth with his own eyes from a distance in the universe, of how small the Earth looks to him at that position, of which a thumb is sufficient to cover the whole Earth. It was of then that this man, now a grandpa, told the world in his biography that of how his view and his perspective of life changed, of the way he look at things ever again back on Earth.

Sounds so stupid and yet its true...

Sounds so easy and yet so hard...

I wonder when I will find the elusive things...

And I hope to find it fast...

The Ending & The Beginning

With the Christmas gone, few days on, there will be a new year to look to, another beginning and another ending. There ends 2009, and comes 2010. And with that also comes my new semester. It's time to concentrate back to my studies-with the professional level papers underway, it's really time to get serious, and hopefully, I do not repeat whatsoever mistake I've done this year.

Christmas had been good this year, maybe not the best but certainly an enjoyable one to me. (Hope you guys did too..) I had a great movie, basketball games with my neighbourhood pals (my first since I injured my ankle) and I even got a Christmas gift-a watch! Okay, it's not really a Christmas gift, just a gift I received during Christmas, or maybe it is, arghh.. whatever it is.

It had been some time since I felt satisfied after watching a show. And Sherlock really did the job. I've been a fan of the book for a while now, and I made no secret that it would be one of the shows that's on my 'must-watch' list. And as usual, I did not put much expectation, learning from the past that doing so will do me no good, what with those recent movies that did badly to really capture my attention. But it turns out great! Well, at least it did for me, if not for you. I'll be waiting for the sequel, hopefully it'll be good-the battle between Sherlock and Professor Moriarty.

And buffet! Oh, I'm really getting tired of these. I've been going for quite a few of those recently, and I certainly think it'll take me some time before I set foot in one again! It's pretty uncomfortable to eat too much just so that it's worth it, or maybe I'm just getting a bit old for that. (haha..)

Well, well, well.. Looking back at 2009, it's been an eventful year after all, even if it had not been so productive in terms of my studies. Some new experience, new friends, new knowledge, some changes- well,not bad after all. So then, for the new year, I wonder...

How will it be like?

How different will it be from the previous ones that had left me?

What new things will I acquire and learn for the coming year?

How much change would take place?

And how different will I be?

Well, time will tell...