A distant dream...

It was probably for the best. Yea, she has tried. I know, I know. Well, in the end, here we are, back to where we started. At the end of the day, I wonder what's the problem? Where did it go wrong? How did it end up in this way? The answer is simple-I don't know.

No one's fault perhaps. Even if there is, well, who am I to judge anyway? People ask me am I okay? Well, yeah, I am. Maybe it's the expectation that such a thing will eventually happen, probably my cautiousness save me from falling too deep. I might have wanted to scream out loud before, but no sounds came. i might have wish to cry it out before, but no tears come anymore. After all, I guess it's probably unnecessary anymore.

Questions after questions fill my head. Sometimes I wonder why did she accept me in the first place? Maybe human nature to try and see-probably it'll work out? I don't know, maybe I will do that too. Why can't it be a straightforward relationship? Well, not everyone adopts the same policy as me. Why try to go on if you feel like you're suffering? Why this? Why that?

It just makes me guilty. Indirectly so. Maybe we should have taken more time to understand each other truly before going on. This relationship-I know I have said I fear of losing her, trying to save it at one time, maybe I portray the image of someone who'll perhaps sink very deep if I lose her, but one thing's clear on my mind-fear of losing does not mean I can never let go. So I wonder, why take the extra burden then?

Ponder no more. A past it is, a very distant dream in fact. Last Saturday's outing seems like a fairytale somewhere in my dreams. I admit I will miss the days when we're together. In a way, it is a very comfortable relationship. Never once I really felt burdened for all the things I did. All I know is at the end of the day, I've given my best in this, never caring for the return. But I guess some things just aren't meant to go on.

Different ways of perceiving things & life, of lifestyle, of choices-probably those are the gap that can't be bridged. But it matters naught, cause we shall now move our separate ways. I shall stand tough, after all, this is just one of those bittersweets of life. Yesterday a distant dream, today onwards, a new dawn...

Thus, with a heavy heart, I bring down the curtain to another chapter of my life...

Of Zeus, Poseidon and Hades...

Clash of the titans, the lords, the Greek deities. A remake of the 1981 film based upon the Greek myth of Perseus, the demigod and son of Zeus. I won't say the show is perfect, but I'm attracted to the setting and the history. I admitted I don't know much about their history, so it all turns out to be like a history lesson, and I love history. Though I did notice there's a slight deviation in the role of Io, who according to the myth, should be Zeus's lover instead of Perseus, who should end up with Andromeda. It's more of a battle between Zeus, Hades and Perseus, with no sight of Poseidon. Man vs God, Demigod vs God, well, I wonder just how true are this myths.

Signal of tough time...

As tiredness fills up my veins,
as stress starts rolling out its drums,
as unnecessary thoughts swarm my head,
as doubts after doubts creeps into my mind,
testing the boundaries of human's limit,
ever threatening to reach the fragile breaking point,
signal of tough time ahead...
But with an open heart & mind,
I shall go through it...=)

Someday...

Who am I?

How do people perceive me as?

What am I?

Probably...

Just a nobody...

In this competitive world,

people strive hard for their life.

Some,

striving hard to live by all means...

Some,

Living a life of their dreams...

Some,

Striving onwards for the sake of dreams...

And here I am,

flowing in the stream of life,

as I stand here in a crowded train,

as the same song plays through my head over and over again,

thinking of the dream I had,

a distant dream...

A tough road,

filled probably with countless flaws,

but nevertheless, it's a journey,

a journey to a place I wanna be,

someday...

Frustration...

Frustrated I am here..

Venting it all out here,

letting the time to gobble it up,

for I wish NOT for conflict,

nor do I wish for childish quarrel.

In this 21 years of my life,

if you still understand me NAUGHT,

if you're still caught up with your 'dogmatic' way of thinking,

so be it...

I have NO intention of explaining,

UNinterested in clearing up your doubts and misunderstanding,

nor do I care any longer about who's right and wrong,

as TIME flows relentlessly by,

my priority needs sorting out,

FOCUS! That's what I need...

Guidance, I might need still...

Advices, I might seek still...

Experiences, I might be lacking still...

But a child I am NO longer!

As I choose my own path, 

shaping it with my own hands,

for at the end of the day,

a FACT that is unchangeable and undeniable,

that THIS is MY LIFE!

ROT-T-I-N-G...

Feels like I'm rotting slowly here. Working for only 3 days, and yet most of  the time I'm free. Imagine working for 5 days! Oh man, I'll dread the time for working hours to end like hell! It's gonna promote laziness within me! And feels like there's nothing much to learn from here anymore. Things feels repetitive and boring. Maybe it's time to move on. But it'll be a big change of environment. Should I try it? Hmm...

The Piece of Blue Sky....

A look at the clear blue sky,
comes a vague memory of a young boy's talk,
"I want to touch the sky someday."
And a vague memory of a reply,
"Then you have to work hard for it, boy."
With thoughts of astronauts and spaceships filling up his mind,
this boy moves on with his childhood life,
unknown of the hardships and toughness of the real world outside,
living a happy & ordinary life, a carefree life...

As time flows by,
as this boy becomes more mature with every passing reality,
as countless thoughts passed his mind interchangeably,
he came to realize,
that all he wants is to just to find his own piece of blue sky.
A blue sky, ever-changing on the outset, but never deep inside.
A place that he wished for,
a place where he believes he belongs to...

And with that thought,
he embark on his journey of life,
in search of that piece...

Whataya Want From Me

Hey, slow it down whataya want from me

Whataya want from me

Yeah I'm afraid whataya want from me

Whataya want from me

There might have been a time

When I would give myself away

Oooh once upon a time I didn't give a damn

But now, here we are so whataya want from me

Whataya want from me

Just don't give up I'm workin it out

Please don't give in, I will let you down

It messed me up, need a second to breathe

Just keep coming around

Hey, whataya want from me

Whataya want from me

Whataya want from me

Yeah, it's plain to see (plain to see)

that baby you're beautiful

And there's nothing wrong with you

(nothing wrong with you)

It's me, I'm a freak (yeah)

but thanks for lovin' me

Cause you're doing it perfectly

(it perfectly)

There might have been a time

When I would let you slip away

I wouldn't even try

But I think you could save my life

Just don't give up I'm workin' it out

Please don't give in, I won't let you down

It messed me up, need a second to breathe

Just keep comin around

Hey, whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)

Whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)

Just don't give up on me

(uuuuuuh) I won't let you down

No, I won't let you down

(So hey) just don't give up

I'm workin it out

Please don't give in,

I won't let you down

It messed me up (It messed me up)

Need a second to breathe

Just keep coming around

Hey, whataya want from me

Just don't give up I'm workin' it out

Please don't give in, i won't let you down

It messed me up, need a second to breathe

Just keep coming around

Hey, whataya want from me (whataya want from me)

whataya want from me (whataya want from me)

whataya want from me

Why........

Why is it that people gives a bad impression when they know nothing?

Why is it that a bad incident leads to another one, forming a bigger and longer chain?

Why is it that when things seems to be alright, then one bad thing ruin it all?

When is it considered to be alright? What is considered to be ruined?

Did I do things wrong? Or is it right? What is right and wrong in the first place?

Reality is cruel...

But life goes on. Regardless of how I feels or think, this is life after all.

When life gets tough, the tough gets going...

As black clouds and thunderstorm appears in my world, I know...

My world is changing itself again. Caught in between the flow of life, as a steep mountain looms in between our world, I wonder, which path it will leads to...

Wishing that things will turn back to normal, to how it was, that we would meet at the end of the mountain...

BUT...

Only time can tell.....

The Story begins...

Life, particularly college life had been dull before I knew you. It's always routine day in and day out. If not study, it'll be work. Occasionally there will be a few events, meet and so on with friends but that's pretty much it. With sports being the major interest, that sums up most of how it was.

Not knowing what I really want, not particularly knowing why I'm doing it, just going with the flow of how things are done more like. I strive hard, maybe not hard enough for the unpredictable future, of which you can say it's for myself, so that I will live a better life probably, well, just what most others will say.

And then you came into the picture...

I start changing. I dream of dreams with you. Of how I want to love you with all I have, to give you all that I can, to never hurt you, of dreams that I want them to come true to what extent they can, God willing. 

And then,

...

*cut short story* (XD..)

Well, the doubts you have-with time, I shall cover it completely. I shall love you with all I have, to treat you the best I can, to never disappoint you, and the list is never exhaustive...

Let's work hard together down this road that we choose...=)

I Love You Very Very Much, Chin Evelyn! XD

Life Quotes...

Found some interesting quotes and I thought I wanna share it here... =)

“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.”
~James Dean quotes (American motion picture actor, symbol of rebellion, 1931-1955)

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
~Maria Robinson quotes

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
~Howard Thurman quotes (American Theologian, Clergyman and Activist. 1900-1981)

“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”

“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.”
~Swami Vivekananda quotes (Indian Spiritual leader of the Hindu religion (Vedanta). Disciple of the famous 19th century mystic-saint Sri Ramakrishna of Calcutta. Founder of the Ramakrishna Order of Monks. 1863-1902) 

Shred of Thoughts...

Life pretty much settles down to how it was before CNY-classes, work, studies, etc. Taking 4 subjects certainly ain't gonna be easy, though with lesser classes to attend, I actually feel better. And failing certainly got me to start studying, that somehow I manage to get myself to sit still at my study table and actually concentrate, which is like the first in dunno-how-many-months-time.

And with the CNY gone, time seems to be flowing pretty fast lately, well, to me. Somehow June doesn't seems to be very far away. It's already approaching the end of February, and I felt like I haven't got much up my sleeves yet.

Sigh...

I guess it's just one of the challenges I have to go through for now. Nothing comes easy and free, just gotta work hard for it, to achieve what I aim for!

Well,

It's another public holiday today, and with class postponed, I'm facing a free day, with no work as I decided to stick to my 2-days-a-week policy for now to concentrate on studies. So I guess it's another study day again, probably with a basketball session providing the weather does not give in. Though I should probably keep in mind of my ankle, which was sprained a fortnight ago and further aggravated by my recklessness. Getting better though but still facing a slight pain in making sharp turning movements.

And it's getting late. I guess I better turn in now. Well, adios for now! =D

Banana Test

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals,

a Lion , a Chimpanzee , a Giraffe , and a  Squirrel , who pass by.

They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.

Who do you guess will win? Your answer will reflect your personality.

So think carefully  - Try and  answer within 30 seconds

Got your  answer?

Now scroll down to see the analysis.

If your answer  is:

Lion = you're dull.
Chimpanzee = you're a moron.
Giraffe = you're a complete idiot.
Squirrel = you're just hopelessly stupid.

A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.  I know

Obviously you're stressed and overworked. You should take some time off and relax! Try again next year.

The Turning Point...

The result is out-I failed 2 out of 3. Well, I've expected this, considering how lazy I am when it comes to doing questions, so there, I passed my theory paper, but failed the calculation one-lack of practice.

I just have to try harder, must try to eliminate this laziness in me. Just gotta do it, or history will repeat.

Well, I just feel like making a pledge here, more to myself, that this will be the last paper(s) that I will fail again. Just to get myself into business, to get serious, to stop what should be stopped, and get things right-my attitude. No more. This shall be it-the turning point. Maybe it's a good thing that I failed, just so that I take them more seriously from now on. Go go go!!!

RAWRRR!!!

Come February 14th, it'll be The Year of the Tiger, and not to mention that this year's Valentine somehow clashed with Chinese New Year. Well, time for 'angpau' (extra pocket money-come come...xD), foods, visits, etc. I wonder what this new year (according to the Chinese Lunar Calendar) has in store for me...

One week of a holiday, and this may well be my last holiday for this sem, it'll be busy from there onwards. Though for some reasons, I'm looking forward to it. (XD) And I guess this blog may be left untouched for quite some time again (sorry about that..) due to the amount of assignments that I've left piling up again. (It's increasing in a scary speed, oh my..)

By the way, I was checking for blog updates (after quite some time of absence...) and I saw this headline titled 'Be A Tiger, But Don't Be THAT Tiger'... Wow, that's quite a good headline, don't you agree? You see, before this incident related to Tiger Woods took place, I was quite a fan of him (though not much since I don't really enjoy golf), but then, of all the men, I was wondering why him? (The same goes for John Terry) Hmmm.. Well who cares, it's the life he chose. And like that post said, just make sure you DON'T be..

Well, I have nothing particularly in my mind that I wanna blurt out in this post, so I think I'll end this wishing everyone out there a Happy Chinese New Year and a happy Valentine! =)