The Essence of Trust...

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.

The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,

"Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."

The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."

"What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father.

"There's a big difference," replied the little girl.

"If I hold your hand and something happens to me,

chances are that I may let your hand go.

But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,

you will never let my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.

So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours...
This message is too short......but carries a lot of Feelings.

ABC of Positive Living

今天离婚，你得抱我出门 ...

　　 妻说，是你将我抱进家门的，要离婚了，你再将我抱出这个家门。 
　　
　　与妻结婚的时候，我是将她抱过来的。那时我们住的是那种一家一户的平房，婚车在门前停下来的时候，一伙朋友撺纵着我，将她从车上抱下来，于是，在一片叫好声中，我抱起了她一直走到典礼的地方。那时的妻是丰盈而成熟的娇羞女孩，我是健壮快乐的新婚男人。 

     这是十年前的一幕。 
　　 
       以 后的日子就像是流水一样过去，要孩子，下海，经商，婚姻中的熟视无睹渐渐出现在我们之间。钱一点点地往上涨，但感情却一点点地平下去，妻在一家行政机构做 公务员，每天我们同时上班，也几乎同时下班，孩子在寄宿学校上学。在别人看来，生活似乎是无懈可击的幸福。但越是这种平静的幸福，便越容易有突然变化的机 率。 
　　
　　 我有了她。当生活像水一样乏味而又无处不在，哪怕一种再简单的饮料，也会让人觉得是一种真正的享受。她就是露儿。 
　　
　　 天气很好，我站在宽大的露台上，露儿伸了双臂，将我从后面紧紧抱住。我的心再一次被她感情包围，几乎让我无法呼吸。这是我为露儿买的房子。 
　　
　　 露儿对我说，像你这样的男人，是最吸引女孩子的眼球的。我忽然想起了妻，刚刚结婚的时候，她似乎说过一句，像你这样的男人，一旦成功之后，是最吸引女孩子的眼球的。想起妻的聪明，心里微微地打上了一个结，我清楚地意识到，自己对不起她。但却欲罢不能。 
 
　　     我推开露儿的手，说你自己看着买些家具吧，公司今天还有事。露儿分明地不高兴起来，毕竟，今天说好了要带她去买家具的。关于离婚的那个可能，已经在我的心里愈来愈大起来，原本觉得是不太可能的事情，竟然渐渐地能在心里想像成可能。 
　　
　　 只 是，我不知道如何对妻子开口，因为我知道，开口了之后必然要伤害她的。妻没有对不起我的地方，她依旧忙忙碌碌地在厨房里准备晚上的饭菜，我依旧打开电视， 坐在那里，看新闻，饭菜很快上桌，吃饭，然后两个人在一起看电视，或是一个人坐在电脑前发会儿呆。想像露儿的身体，成了我自娱的方式。试着对妻说，如果我 们离婚，你说会怎样？妻白了我一眼，没有说话，似乎这种生活离她很远。我无法想象，一旦我说出口时，妻的表现和想法。 
　　 
     妻去公司找我时，露儿刚从我办公室里出来。公司里的人的眼光是藏不住事情的，在几乎所有人都以同情的目光和那种掩饰的语言说话的时候，妻终于感觉出了什么。她依旧对着我的所有下属以自己的身份微笑着，但我却在她来不及躲闪的一瞬间，从她的眼神中读出了一种伤害。 
　　
　　 露 儿再次对我说，离婚吧何宁，我们在一起。我点头，心里已经将这个念头扩到非说不可的地步了。妻端上最后一盘菜时，我按住了她的手。说我有件事要告诉你。妻 坐下来，静静地吃着饭，我想起了她眼神中的那种伤害，此刻分明地再一次显出来。突然间觉得自己有些不忍，但事到如今，却只能说下去。咱们离婚吧，我平静地 说着不平静的事。妻没有表现出那种很特别的情绪，淡淡地问我为什么。我笑，说：不，我不是开玩笑，是真的离婚。妻的态度骤然变化起来，她恨恨地摔了筷子， 对我大声说，你不是人！ 
　　
　　 夜里，我们谁也没理谁，妻在小声地哭，我知道她是想知道为什么。但我却给不了她答案，因为我已经在露儿给我的感觉里无法自拔。我起草了协议给妻看，里面写明了将房子，车子，还有公司的30股权分给她。写这些东西时，心里是一直怀了对妻的歉疚的，妻愤愤地接过，撕成碎片儿，不再理我。我感觉自己的心竟然隐隐地有些疼起来，毕竟是一起生活了十年的爱人，所有的温柔都将在未来化去，就这样的慢慢的过去，到了第二天． 
　　
　　 陪 客户喝酒，半醉的我回到家中时，妻正伏在那里写着什么。我躺在床上睡去，醒来的时候，发现妻依旧坐在那里。我翻个身，再沉沉地睡去。终于闹到了非离不可的 地步，妻却对我声明，她什么也不要我的，只是在离婚之前，要我答应她一个条件。妻的条件简单，便是再给她一个月的时间，因为再过一个月，孩子就过完暑假 了，她不想让孩子看到父母分开的场面，而且，在这一个月里还要像以前那样生活。 
　　
　 　我接过妻写的协议，她问我，何宁，你还记得我是怎么嫁过来的吗？蓦地，关于新婚的那些记忆涌上来，我点头，说记得。妻说，是你将我抱进来的，但是我还有 个条件，就是要离婚了，你再将我抱出这个家门吧。这一来一去，都是你做主好了，只是，我要求这一个月，每天上班，你都要将我抱出去，从卧室，到大门。 
　　
　　 我笑，说：好。我想妻是在以这种形式来告别自己的婚姻，或是还有对过去眷恋的缘故。我将妻的要求告诉了露儿，露儿笑得有些轻佻，说再怎么还是离婚，搞这么多花样做什么。她似乎对妻很不屑，这或多或少让我心里不太舒服。 
　　
　　 一个月为限，第一天，我们的动作都很呆板。因为一旦说明之后，我们已经有很久没有这么亲密接触过了，甚至连例行的每周两次的****时 间也取消了，每天都像路人一样。儿子从身后拍着小手说，爸爸搂妈妈了，爸爸搂妈妈了，叫得我有些心酸。从卧室经客厅，出房门，到大门，十几米的路程，妻在 我的怀抱里，轻轻地闭着眼睛，对我说，我们就从今天开始吧，别让孩子知道。我点头，刚刚落下去的心酸再一次地浮上来。我将妻放在大门外，她去等公交，我去 开车上班。 
　　
　　 第二天，我和妻的动作都随意了许多，她轻巧地靠在我的身上，我嗅到她清新的衣香，妻确实是老了，我已有多少日子没有这么近的看过她了，光润的皮肤上，有了细细的皱纹。我怎么没发现过妻有皱纹了呢，还是自己已是多久没有注意到自己这个熟悉到骨头里的女人了呢。 
　　
　　 第三天，妻附在我的耳边对我说，院子里的花池拆了，要小心些，别跌倒了。
　　
　　 第四天，在卧室里抱起妻的时候，我有种错觉，我们依旧是十分亲密的爱人，她依旧是我的宝贝，我正在用心去抱她，而所有关于露儿的想像，都变得若有若无起来。 
　　
　　 第五天，六天，妻每次都会在我耳边说一些小细节，衣服熨好了挂在哪里，做饭时要小心不要让油溅着，我点着头，心里的那种错觉也越来越强烈起来。 
　　
　　 我没有告诉露儿这一切。感觉到自己越来越不吃力了，似乎是锻炼的结果，我对妻说，现在抱你，不怎么吃力了。 
　　
　　 妻 在挑拣衣服，我在一边等着抱她出门。妻试了几件，都不太合适，自己叹了口气，坐在那里，说衣服都长肥了。我笑，但却只笑了一半，我蓦然间想起自己越来越不 吃力了，不是我有力了，而是妻瘦了，因为她将所有的心事压在心里。那一瞬间，心里紧紧地疼起来，我伸出手去，试图去抚妻的额角。 
　　
　　 儿 子进来了，爸爸，该抱妈妈出门了。他催促着我们，似乎这么些天来，看我抱妻出门，已经成了他的一个节目。妻拉过儿子，紧紧地抱住，我转过了脸不去看，怕自 己将所有的不忍转成一个后悔的理由。从卧室出发，然后经客厅，屋门，走道，我抱着妻，她的手轻巧而自然地揽在我的脖子上。我紧紧地拥着她的身体，感觉像是 回到了那个新婚的日子，但妻越来越轻的身体，却常常让我忍不住想落泪。 
　　
　　 最后一天，我抱起妻的时候，怔在那里不走。儿子上学去了，妻也怔怔地看着我说，其实，真想让你这样抱到老的。我紧紧地抱了妻，对她说，其实，我们都没有意识到，生活中就是少了这种抱你出门的亲密。 
　　
　　 停 下车子的时候，我来不及锁上车门，我怕时间的延缓会再次打消我的念头。我敲开门，露儿一脸的惺松。我对她说，对不起露儿，我不离婚了。真的不离了。露儿不 相信一般看着我，伸出手来，摸着我的头，说你没发烧呀。我打开露儿的手，看着她，对她说，对不起露儿，我只有对你说对不起，我不离婚了，或许我和她以前， 只是因为生活的平淡教会了我们熟视无睹，而并不是没有感情,我今天才明白。我将她抱进了家门，她给我生儿育女，就要将她抱到老，所以，只有对你说对不起。 
　　
　　 露儿似乎才明白过来，愤怒地扇了我一耳光，关了门，大哭起来。我下楼，开车去公司。路过那家上班时必经的花店的时候，我给妻子订了一束她最喜欢的情人草，礼品店的小姐拿来卡片让我写祝语，我微笑着在上面写上：我要每天抱你出家门，一直到老。 

    那天晚上，我回到家时，我面带笑容，手拿着花，我跑上楼梯，却发现我的妻子在床上-死了.......我哭了，哭得失控了，我哭着抱起妻子最后一次从房间走到大厅，我望着我唯一的儿子，他的眼泪在眼中滚动，他们使我更加地哭泣。我失去了我的爱，我的妻子和一个充满爱心和关怀的母亲，现在我也没有办法把时钟向后调了。现在我只能详细地看看她一动不动的身体，但我知道它只是一阵子，直到她走完她最后的旅程。 

    我抱着我的儿子，哭了一次又一次，一边想着所有事情，她还活着的时候，我为她做的事不多.........我把花轻轻地放在她的手里，我的泪水都滴在花多上了，她已经一去不复返了，我的眼泪是不会把她接回来的。 

    什么东西是你生活中真正的小细节，这不是豪宅，汽车，属性，在银行存款，等等..这些东西创造一个幸福的的环境，，但不能给予自己的幸福。因此，找一些时间做你配偶的朋友，多为对方建立亲密关系的一些小事情..愿你有真正的幸福的婚姻！

 　　男的都应该用心看看，每个男人到你成功时，也许都会有这种经历，学学吧，不要让自己老时后悔了,伤害最大的是孩子，如果成功后不要妻子，还不如不要成功，一家过苦日子也许也是幸福。 

[Don't know know to read? Just translate it with the google translator toolbar at the side. Not totally accurate but understandable.. I also used it.. XD By the way, thanks to Boey for the mail..=)]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME‏...

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.  

Over the phone, his mother told him, 'Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday..' Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.  

'Jack, did you hear me?'  

'Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago,' Jack said.  

'Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it,' Mom told him.  

'I loved that old house he lived in,' Jack said.  

'You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life,' she said. 

'He's the one who taught me carpentry,' he said. 'I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral,' Jack said.  

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.  

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.
Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

'What's wrong, Jack?' his Mom asked.

'The box is gone,' he said 


'What box?' Mom asked.

'There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,' Jack said. 

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it. 


'Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him,' Jack said. 'I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom.' 


It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. 'Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days,' the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the
package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. 'Mr. Harold Belser' it read.

Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. 


Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside. 'Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life.' A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.

Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover.

Inside he found these words engraved:

'Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold
Belser.'

'The thing he valued most was...my time'

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days.

'Why?' Janet, his assistant asked.

'I need some time to spend with my son,' he said.

'Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!'

'Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,' 

Think about this. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you. 


2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. 


3. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you. 


4. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep. 

5. You mean the world to someone. 

6. If not for you, someone may not be 
living. 


7. You are special and unique. 


8. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you trust God to do what's best, and wait on His time, sooner or later, you will get it or something better. 


9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it. 

10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world. 

11. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you. 

12. A lways remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks. 

13 . Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you'll both be happy .

14. If you have a great friend, take the
time to let them know that they are great. 

To everyone who read this,
'Thanks for your time 

 [Thanks to Adeline and Cheng Seng for the mail.. =)]

Thinking Outside The Box. . .

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus, you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind, and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."


1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.


2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..

It read:
"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole.


3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.
"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, was one quarter, two dimes and five pennies.

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The Obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.

The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.


5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would
be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her."

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

Remember!

Most importantly.................

"Work like you don't need the money, sing like no one is listening, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching."

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that takes our breath away"

"The risk takers might not live long, but the cautious never live at all"

[P.S. Thanks to Heidy for the mail.. =)]

Attitude & Choices

Hey guys... i jz got an e-mail dat i wish 2 share wif u guys.. A very interesting e-mail.. (thx to Heidy ya..=D) sm of u might hav act read it.. Well, here it is...........

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!'

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it!'

'You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?'

He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or...you can choose to be in a bad mood

I choose to be in a good mood.'

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or....I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or...I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested.

'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.'

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a

communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident..

When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins....Wanna see my scars?'

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied.. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live.'

'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked

He continued, '...the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action.'

'What did you do?' I asked.

'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity''

Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead..'

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude...I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday..

A very interesting mail n story.. Make me feel a bit bad abt all my complaints n bad moods n stuff lik dat... i guess its normal for evry1 2 hav this kinda attitude.. but i guess v(o rather i) shud look at the positive side.. even when v r in a very bad situation... v r the 1 who choose how 2 lead our life.. the choice is always ours.. n its our choice n our attitude to life dat wil determine how our life wil unfold... well, lets all work hard 4 a good life dat v wil never regret... ^___^