Of Form, Of Substance, Of Hell!

Till now, nothing has change...
Or if there is, probably just incremental ones...
Probably a slow, bit-by-bit differences by the day...
Just as stated in Balogun and Hailey's model of change...

A change it could be in its form,
but yet the substance remains untouched...
A constant it stays deep within,
maintaining in itself of what is and what have been...

But for now, Caution! As Hell is approaching...
Conflicts begone, the minds beware...
For the end is near, the consequences can be dire...
Should care and due diligence be a long-term absentee...

Breathe~Taylor Swift ft Colbie Caillait

I see your face in my mind as I drive away
'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way
People are people and sometimes we change our minds
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh

I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

So behind the schedule...

Oh, crap! I'm so so so behind the schedule in my studies. Faced with a free day and yet I barely move an inch! Holy shit. Gotta catch up by going full blast as the clock ticks midnight. Should be more disciplined. MUST be...

The Essence of Trust...

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.

The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,

"Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."

The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."

"What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father.

"There's a big difference," replied the little girl.

"If I hold your hand and something happens to me,

chances are that I may let your hand go.

But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,

you will never let my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.

So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours...
This message is too short......but carries a lot of Feelings.

Maybe I am dreaming...

Lying on the white pebble beach,

listening to the rushing sound of the water,

bathed by the light of the full moon,

as I gaze at the galaxy of stars high above,

hoping to see meteor showering the sky,

enjoying the serenity and peacefulness of the moment,

of a smaller world separated from its bigger piece...

Alone I am on this island,

free from the hustle and bustle of city life,

filled with the wonderful scent of nature,

as thousands of fireflies stroll around everywhere,

just like a replica of the starry sky above,

lighting up the whole island like as though it is alive,

a beautiful scene,

a beautiful memory to be preserved forever...

Up I get to walk around the island,

towards the source of the music of nature,

humming about the silent night in a relaxed manner,

as I feel the cool fresh air deep inside my lungs,

then comes the dripping sound of the rain,

filling the air with coldness and wetness,

as the night gets older by the minute,

bringing more and more light to the darkness...

Out come the sun from the east,

as the rain decelerate from a drizzle to a stop,

bringing out the seven colors of the rainbow,

of which it is said the ends connects two unknown worlds,

as I walk towards the center of the island,

a point that oversees the whole tiny island,

high up above all, just like the throne of a King,

such a dreamlike place, a fantasy, maybe I am just dreaming...

Different day, same old....

As I drive through the same old streets,

as I walk on the same old pavements,

as I see back the same old faces,

as I read through the same old notes,

as I face this routineness again and again,

these feelings of deja vu,

as though the past is repeating itself,

but a look at the calendar,

a different day it is,

a different day,

but of the same old...

Parmenides : The Way of Truth

This is just one of those philosophies from the ancient Greek that I find myself interested in. Having learned about Parmenides fallacy in P3, I searched and found a little more information about him in Wikipedia. Find this work of his particularly interesting. Here it goes...

The Way of Truth discusses that which is real, which contrasts in some way with the argument of the Way of Opinion, which discusses that which is illusory. Under the Way of Truth, Parmenides stated that there are two ways of inquiry: that it is, that it is not. He said that the latter argument is never feasible because nothing can not be:

For never shall this prevail, that things that are not are. (B 7.1)

Since existence is an immediately intuited fact, non-existence is the wrong path because a thing cannot disappear, just as something cannot originate from nothing. In such mystical experience (unio mystica), however, the distinction between subject and object disappears along with the distinctions between objects, in addition to the fact that if nothing cannot be, it cannot be the object of thought either:

Thinking and the thought that it is are the same; for you will not find thought apart from what is, in relation to which it is uttered. (B 8.34-36)

For thought and being are the same. (B 3)

It is necessary to speak and to think what is; for being is, but nothing is not. (B 6.1-2)

Helplessness guides the wandering thought in their breasts; they are carried along deaf and blind alike, dazed, beasts without judgment, convinced that to be and not to be are the same and not the same, and that the road of all things is a backward-turning one. (B 6.5-9)

Thus, he concluded that "Is" could not have "come into being" because "nothing comes from nothing". Existence is necessarily eternal. That which truly is [x], has always been [x], and was never becoming [x]; that which is becoming [x] was never nothing (Not-[x]), but will never actually be.

Moreover he argued that movement was impossible because it requires moving into "the void", and Parmenides identified "the void" with nothing, and therefore (by definition) it does not exist. That which does exist is The Parmenidean One, which is timeless, uniform, and unchanging:

How could what is perish? How could it have come to be? For if it came into being, it is not; nor is it if ever it is going to be. Thus coming into being is extinguished, and destruction unknown. (B 8.20-22)

Nor was [it] once, nor will [it] be, since [it] is, now, all together, / One, continuous; for what coming-to-be of it will you seek? / In what way, whence, did [it] grow? Neither from what-is-not shall I allow / You to say or think; for it is not to be said or thought / That [it] is not. And what need could have impelled it to grow / Later or sooner, if it began from nothing? Thus [it] must either be completely or not at all. (B 8.5-11)

[What exists] is now, all at once, one and continuous... Nor is it divisible, since it is all alike; nor is there any more or less of it in one place which might prevent it from holding together, but all is full of what is. (B 8.5-6, 8.22-24)

And it is all one to me / Where I am to begin; for I shall return there again. (B 5)

Hot, Hotter and Hotter...

NASA reports, by the next 10 MONTHS, EARTH gets hotter by 4'C from now. Himalayan glaciers are melting at a rapid rate. Lend your hands to fight global warming -Plant more trees. Don't waste water. Don't use or burn plastic and don't delete this message without forwarding. SAVE EARTH at any cost..

Saw this message in facebook and I'm like, 'Wow, 4'C hotter? Awesome. We could probably do well in a much hotter environment than it is now.' Already half-baked from the heat, making me sweat like no one's business, now it's just gonna be much worse. Great right? I'm sure you will agree with me. And when they say we should save Earth, I wonder how many people around the globe will actually resist themselves from switching on the air-conditioner for the sake of Earth, something I largely doubt. Well, this could possibly just end up making our Earth much worse than it already is after all...

A lil bit of what's on my mind...

Here comes busy times. As May looms, come IRC. And I have a 'hell-like' schedule from 18th of May all the way to 2nd of June, 3 days of Joe Fang, 4 days of Andrew and a whopping 12 days of Dr. Parmindar. Oh, I'm just gonna 'love' Parmindar so much. XD 

Busy it is, but there should be time for some movies. Few noted shows in my brain would be Ironman 2 and Ip Man 2, coming out on 29th this month. The other being Prince of Persia on 27th of May, but man, what a time to air it! Right at the time when I'm so busy! But I guess I can afford to sneak some time-off for it..XP And there's Step-Up 3 on August 19th, long way to come.

And EPL season is nearing its end. So where's Arsenal? Third currently. A "probable" champion. Let's hope they win all their games, and probably Tottenham or Liverpool can trash Chelsea nicely, well, they'd better do. XP Oh, did I forget MU? Well, don't bother, they won't win for sure..XP

With the end of EPL, it'll be quite boring with no sports to look forward to. But at least there's still F1 and MLB-Yankees! And then it'll be World Cup! No more injuries to England hopefully...

And working life sucks. I just can't wait to get out of there. About 8 more months. Patience, the chance will come..For now, it's time to concentrate well in my studies! All the best, people! =)

To Be Myself Again...

As the two roads converge,

bringing with it the two souls,

as they started out on a journey together,

growing by the day just like the spring,

filled with the warmth of summer,

a journey as beautiful as the autumn itself,

but then out of nowhere,

a cold war of the winter erupted,

and bringing with it the end to the journey...

Feeling void and lonely,

wandering around aimlessly without any sense of direction,

as the world turns darker and darker,

he thought of the happy times back then,

wishing that everything now is just a dream,

alas, those are nothing but a memory now,

left just the scars and the cold nostalgia...

To stand tall and tough, he told himself,

striving himself to work hard,

keeping his calm and cool in check,

facing the days with a smile as genuine as he could,

and with the support and advices of fellow friends,

he pushes himself forward,

back to the path of life that he strayed from,

in search of dreams once again...

What kind of day is it?

A good day? Probably so...
A bad day? Maybe too...
A nostalgic day? Hmmm.. Pretty so...
A hot day? Hey, it's Malaysia dude!
A lazy day? Guess so..
Feel like doing nothing? Yeah, you're right...
Feel like doing something? Ironically, I do...
So what you wanna do? Well, I don't know...
Why don't know? Because I don't know...
Missing anything? Maybe yes, maybe no...
So you're bored, huh? Well, do I sound interesting?
Sleepy? Kinda... 100% if I open my notes...
Tired? Exhausted more like...
Then what are you doing here? Well, I don't know. Just blurting some nonsense out...
What for? Just to spread my idiocy around and to waste your time..
Now I'm irritated! Why read then? =P

Vanilla Twilight~Owl City...

The stars lean down to kiss you

And I lie awake and miss you

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly

But I'll miss your arms around me

I'd send a postcard to you, dear

'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue

But it's not the same without you

Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad

'Til I look at my hands and feel sad

'Cause the spaces between my fingers

Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways

Though I haven't slept in two days

'Cause cold nostalgia

Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight

I'll sit on the front porch all night

Waist-deep in thought because

When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink

I'll think of you tonight

I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter

And heavy wings grow lighter

I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew

But I swear I won't forget you

Oh, if my voice could reach

Back through the past

I'd whisper in your ear

Oh darling, I wish you were here

A distant dream...

It was probably for the best. Yea, she has tried. I know, I know. Well, in the end, here we are, back to where we started. At the end of the day, I wonder what's the problem? Where did it go wrong? How did it end up in this way? The answer is simple-I don't know.

No one's fault perhaps. Even if there is, well, who am I to judge anyway? People ask me am I okay? Well, yeah, I am. Maybe it's the expectation that such a thing will eventually happen, probably my cautiousness save me from falling too deep. I might have wanted to scream out loud before, but no sounds came. i might have wish to cry it out before, but no tears come anymore. After all, I guess it's probably unnecessary anymore.

Questions after questions fill my head. Sometimes I wonder why did she accept me in the first place? Maybe human nature to try and see-probably it'll work out? I don't know, maybe I will do that too. Why can't it be a straightforward relationship? Well, not everyone adopts the same policy as me. Why try to go on if you feel like you're suffering? Why this? Why that?

It just makes me guilty. Indirectly so. Maybe we should have taken more time to understand each other truly before going on. This relationship-I know I have said I fear of losing her, trying to save it at one time, maybe I portray the image of someone who'll perhaps sink very deep if I lose her, but one thing's clear on my mind-fear of losing does not mean I can never let go. So I wonder, why take the extra burden then?

Ponder no more. A past it is, a very distant dream in fact. Last Saturday's outing seems like a fairytale somewhere in my dreams. I admit I will miss the days when we're together. In a way, it is a very comfortable relationship. Never once I really felt burdened for all the things I did. All I know is at the end of the day, I've given my best in this, never caring for the return. But I guess some things just aren't meant to go on.

Different ways of perceiving things & life, of lifestyle, of choices-probably those are the gap that can't be bridged. But it matters naught, cause we shall now move our separate ways. I shall stand tough, after all, this is just one of those bittersweets of life. Yesterday a distant dream, today onwards, a new dawn...

Thus, with a heavy heart, I bring down the curtain to another chapter of my life...

Of Zeus, Poseidon and Hades...

Clash of the titans, the lords, the Greek deities. A remake of the 1981 film based upon the Greek myth of Perseus, the demigod and son of Zeus. I won't say the show is perfect, but I'm attracted to the setting and the history. I admitted I don't know much about their history, so it all turns out to be like a history lesson, and I love history. Though I did notice there's a slight deviation in the role of Io, who according to the myth, should be Zeus's lover instead of Perseus, who should end up with Andromeda. It's more of a battle between Zeus, Hades and Perseus, with no sight of Poseidon. Man vs God, Demigod vs God, well, I wonder just how true are this myths.

Signal of tough time...

As tiredness fills up my veins,
as stress starts rolling out its drums,
as unnecessary thoughts swarm my head,
as doubts after doubts creeps into my mind,
testing the boundaries of human's limit,
ever threatening to reach the fragile breaking point,
signal of tough time ahead...
But with an open heart & mind,
I shall go through it...=)

Someday...

Who am I?

How do people perceive me as?

What am I?

Probably...

Just a nobody...

In this competitive world,

people strive hard for their life.

Some,

striving hard to live by all means...

Some,

Living a life of their dreams...

Some,

Striving onwards for the sake of dreams...

And here I am,

flowing in the stream of life,

as I stand here in a crowded train,

as the same song plays through my head over and over again,

thinking of the dream I had,

a distant dream...

A tough road,

filled probably with countless flaws,

but nevertheless, it's a journey,

a journey to a place I wanna be,

someday...

Frustration...

Frustrated I am here..

Venting it all out here,

letting the time to gobble it up,

for I wish NOT for conflict,

nor do I wish for childish quarrel.

In this 21 years of my life,

if you still understand me NAUGHT,

if you're still caught up with your 'dogmatic' way of thinking,

so be it...

I have NO intention of explaining,

UNinterested in clearing up your doubts and misunderstanding,

nor do I care any longer about who's right and wrong,

as TIME flows relentlessly by,

my priority needs sorting out,

FOCUS! That's what I need...

Guidance, I might need still...

Advices, I might seek still...

Experiences, I might be lacking still...

But a child I am NO longer!

As I choose my own path, 

shaping it with my own hands,

for at the end of the day,

a FACT that is unchangeable and undeniable,

that THIS is MY LIFE!